Goals

Times of Transition always bring me back to good ole fashioned goal setting... but now how do you choose which goals to pursue?

Goal: Get my masters degree in Nursing at USD with GI Bill

Goal: Get married and have kids

Goal: Go home for 6 months and go with Word Made Flesh to Thailand or India or ??

Goal: Go to Bethel and get MFT

Goal: Work in Pediatric Oncology

What is the only thing we can bring to Heaven?

1 Peter 1: 24-25 offers incredible insight to the one thing that is eternal and he references Isaiah 40:6

"All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever."

I'm in a time of intense transition... my time with the Navy is coming to an end and with that comes opportunities that make me want to jump up and down for sheer JOY and other times make me want to hide under the covers in fear of the tremendous responsibility and inevitable consequences of every choice and sadness at the closing of a wonderful season.

As I consider my purpose, my giftings, my passions, the work of God in my life, I ask God "What do you want me to do? How can I serve you? What really matters?"

So for now, the answer he's given me is what really matters is His Word. I can't bring my family to heaven, my nursing skills, the patients I've met, the coworkers I've grown to love, my car, my books... all I can bring is the Word of the Lord. So that is where I will begin as I continue to seek him and ask him for direction, for peace, for purpose, for obedience, for adventure, for my dreams, for his will, for his love....influenced by the greats... Abraham, Sarah, Joshua, Ruth, David, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Mary, Paul, Peter, and Jesus himself in the form of man... my mentors are incredible people to learn about how God works in our lives.

And hopefully in focusing on his Word, my seeking will turn away from asking for things but rather just being.... being with the Father who knows me perfectly and intimately and has the whole world in his hands:)

Birthday Blessing

Psalm 139 is a Birthday Tradition for me... It's like looking through a keyhole into something beautiful and treasured...something you can't fully understand... that fills your mind with sweet dreams and absolute security. Best Birthday present ever... is a relationship with an Almighty, Gracious Father.

The Lord is so good to me. He has blessed me so tremendously.

He searches me and he knows me--->He is active in his relationship with me... I am known.

He knows when I sit and rise---> He's into the details

He perceives my thoughts from afar--->He knows what is coming long before I do. He sees the heart of where my thoughts come from.

He discerns my going out and my lying down. He's familiar with all my ways--->like with my new niece Lane... I know she'll open her mouth expecting food when I kiss her lips or she will let out a wail after a few cries and be comforted immediately by her pacifier... He knows my tendencies, my habits, my expectations.

He knows the word on my tongue before it gets there--->He knows my thoughts... my heart...what my words really mean even if they don't come out right or they aren't perceived correctly

He hems me in and his hand is upon me---> He cares about me...He doesn't allow me to fall apart. He knows all of the pieces of me. There is no where/nothing I can go or do that he doesn't know or won't see.

He created the whole universe...I cannot flee from his spirit or presence. Even in the heavens, the depths of the sea, the early morning or in a far off country---> even there... his hand will guide me... his right hand will hold me fast.

Darkness cannot hide me... there is no darkness in Christ. Only light.

He created my inner being---> my personality, my brain... he KNIT me together in my mothers womb---> knitting is a tedious, intricate, deliberate process/action. Each knot is planned and knit with thought and detail.

I am made so wonderfully that it fills me with holy fear of this God who creates so intricately and intimately.

All I know is that his works are wonderful. Though I was made in a secret place to all humans where they have a limited understanding of what occurs... nothing was hidden from Him.

I was woven in the depths of the earth... woven---similar to being knit... and the depths of the earth?? Before time- his eyes saw my unformed body. Before time... before there were birds, sin, hues of color...

All my days were ordained for me and written in his book before they even occurred---> He's not making this up one day at a time. My days are numbered, planned and known.

God's thoughts about me are precious. They are vast. If I tried to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. Then I would fall asleep out of sheer exhaustion and still God would be with me. Safe in the shelter of His wing. Completely known, understood and loved without measure.

There are wicked people who do not consider my God. Their ways are offensive... especially in light of your perfect knowledge of who I am as well as who they are.

Oh Father, search me and know me... test me and know my anxiety... see that there is no offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.

Lessons from a fallen rose

When I was home in Iowa, I was driving when I saw a yellow rose lying in the middle the road.

I thought how sad that rose lying there... someone missing the chance to breath in it's wonderful fragrance, brighten a kitchen room, or stir the curiosity of a child as to how or when it would blossom, or puzzle the thinker on how a small seed can grow into such a beautiful flower.



How often do we live our lives missing the opportunity to fulfill what we were created to do. Maybe we are stuck in a career that seems foolish to leave, we think pursuing our passion is impossible, we can't wait for the next stage in life, we can't wait to move on from people that continually irritate us...

I wish that I had stopped and picked that rose up and brought it home to grace our table, but I didn't. Funny that the rose couldn't pick itself up and walk itself to our kitchen table or wave to a weary mother and say breathe deeply and be refreshed by my scent. It needed someone to recognize that it was not where it was supposed to be. Aren't we the same? We need someone to stop in the middle of the road, pick us up and walk beside us as we figure out how to fulfill the purpose that God has destined and created uniquely for each of us. Someone to breath life into us, to encourage us, to challenge us... it's funny how influenced we are by the people around us. We are privileged with the responsibility of speaking into the people around us. It's a beautiful responsibility... especially when we take it and dive deep into the lives of the people around us.



Tsunami Escape Route

The other day I was driving along a main road in Pacific Beach and a sign caught my eye. "Tsunami Evacuation Route" is what it said.

I thought to myself, "To heck with the escape route via a motor vehicle! I'm ditching this old dodge stratus and gonna run on my own two feet!"

How quickly a disaster puts material things into perspective. They are but shadows of security, efficiency, safety, and protection. How quickly I would leave my car to seek safety via the two feet God gave me. It made me think about what I put my trust in. What do I get a sense of security, efficiency, safety and protection? Is it my job, my career, my retirement, my friends, my home, my bank account, my relationships?

In life, there is an escape route that is 100% secure. That is Jesus. He is the way, He is the life. If I want to escape the shadows and hints of security... knowing deep within my heart that they are deceptive, I must run to the truest escape route there is.

Hello Love

The theme of my sister's season of life right now...."Hello Love". 2 weeks from today my beautiful sister Lucy will be a married woman and have the opportunity and privilege of loving one man for the rest of her life. The undertaking is incredible... the responsibility immeasurable... the rewards unimaginable.

When I tell friends about my younger sister Lucy I tell them, "She's the coolest girl you'll ever meet. She is absolutely selfless, she rides a Kawasaki, she plays guitar, she goes dirt biking, she loves the Packers, loves the Cardinals, can follow the game and doesn't fall asleep during them, played hockey most of her life, loves adventure..." Those are just her interests and the things she can do... her inner person? She is so loyal, so thoughtful, so witty, so funny, so confident, so innocent, so selfless, so generous, so pure, so full of life. She can make friends and strike up conversation with anyone. Whenever she wasn't dating a guy, I sure couldn't figure out why her many friends hadn't swept her off her feet already. The man who wins Lucy heart will have her whole heart, she'll be absolutely faithful, sacrificial, fun, thoughtful, and the greatest friend he could ever have.

The man who won Lucy's heart? Mr. Kyle Kerns. Now to be perfectly honest... this man was my arch enemy for a bit as I struggled with hearing Lucy talk of falling in love with a man that I had never met and didn't trust. Here my sister is 1000's of miles away from my protective questions, discernment and influence over the guys she's dating! But with time, visits to San Diego by him, visits home by me, texts and phone calls... I am ready to call him brother. He is a man who has shown me that he has one thing down: He loves Lucy. He loves her by opening the door for her, complimenting her on her beauty, holding her hand, he spends time with her, he shares his interests with her, he is patient with her, he lets her live her dreams, he lasted through a rough summer of separation as Lucy lived her dream of working at camp, he's prepared to provide for her, he has studied book after book about preparing to be a prayerful and faithful husband, he's not afraid to ask hard questions.... He's a man that I have learned to trust. He rides dirt bikes and rides fast on ice during winter!!!

Together, they get to walk hand in hand through life....I can't even imagine the struggles and joys that they will go through together, but I can imagine the blanket of protection and covering they have as they enter into this relationship as a man and woman of faith. A man and woman who have put their faith in Jesus Christ, who have faithfully prayed over one another and their marriage, who have sought advice and wisdom from other couples who have stood the test of time, who have had to work through difficult separations, and miscommunications already.

Next week, we will hold up a big "Welcome Love" sign to the Love of Lucy and Kyle and we will cheer for them as they walk under it and into a life together. And then we will join together and pray and celebrate the miracle of God bringing two sinful souls together to join into a holy relationship reflecting an incredible relationship that beckons every person on Earth to say "Hello", sit down and invest in something miraculous and unfathomable.

Did I mention she's the coolest girl ever? And Kyle... well he's just a Rockstar on those bikes...

Fun Love:)

Hello Love:)

An Addiction

I believe that thankfulness is addictive. Once I start thanking God... I can't stop.

Lately I have felt a restlessness, discontentment, sadness, confusion, discouragement, doubt, etc etc for no conscious reason that I can figure out. Feelings that do not promote a thankful attitude. So one day walking a long ways home from parking a long ways away after a long day at work, I started complaining and hosting a pity party for myself. Then I remembered where that gets me: Nowhere FAST.

So looking down at my feet that were taking me home, I thanked God for them, then for my toes that feel soft or course sand, and my toenails that protect my toes, then the tiny bones in my foot and the ligaments and the vessels that carry blood all over my body, then the four chambers of my heart that pump without a single bit of instruction from me, and my lungs that stimulate me to take deep breaths and yawn and give me air to laugh with and speak with... that's not even scratching the surface. Then I think about my parents and their parents and their ambitions, and values, and lessons, and punishments, and gifts, and lessons. And then my sisters and their beauty and influence and love and laughter and thoughts and insights and suggestions... and I could go one FOREVER... Really... I didn't even touch on the beautiful gifts that God gave us... a legacy of miracles and commitment, loyalty, faithfulness, mercy, forgiveness, courage, creativity, mystery...

So whether we live in a hut in the middle of the bush in Africa where we are surrounded by wide open spaces of green fields/forests and blue skies with incredible shapes of clouds or we're in downtown NYC looking at the creativity of man inspired by the creativity of our Creator and the millions of people with different eyes, personalities, thoughts, hair color, cell dna... We have something to be thankful for... an infinate number of things:)