I've never quite understood when people say they heard something from God. I've often times said, "God, please help me out here... I don't know what to do and you do." and then I go on my merry way and do the next LOGICAL action. Which sometimes doesn't work or just makes me feel like I'm really completely on my own in life with no higher power looking out for me.
It's going to start out sounding funny... Well the other day I was talking to my mentor and wanted to ask her a question about her son but could not remember his name. So I asked God what it was. And I chose to have peace and faith that he would tell me. I denied the desire to feel anxious and get mad at myself for my poor memory. And then his name just came to me and I was able to ask about her son by name.
Then at work the other night, we were trying to get access to a port-a-cath which is a central line that we draw blood from and give IV medications. We HAVE to get blood return in order to give medications and it saves the patient from getting poked 50 million times for peripheral iv access and blood lab draws. So I was in the room with a corpsman and he had attempted an IV, I had attempted one and he was trying again. We had already done EVERYTHING we could to get blood return including using blood clot busting meds to make the line patent. So I thought, "I'll just try one more time".... after many flushes and no blood return... I finally asked God. I said, "Lord, we need blood from this woman and she is tired of being poked and being in pain." I heard "ask about her children." So I did. And the minute she started talking about them, bright red blood came out of her port-a-cath!!!! We got the lab draws we needed, and we were able to use the central line! I was so excited that I said, "Ma'am do you know what just happened? I asked God how we were going to get blood return and he said to ask about your children and then I got blood return!" She and her husband said that people are praying for her as she fights this oncology battle. I got to tell some of my coworkers too... and though I felt fear of being seen as crazy... it was too cool to keep in:)
I was thinking about it today... about how I know I heard or if it was just my tendency to ask questions about family or the way I pulled the syringe, etc, etc. And I don't know other than I heard the answers to my questions and the answers proved true. It felt like when someone comes up to you on a stressful day and just starts massaging your shoulders. It feels so good and you've done nothing to deserve it, but relaxation flows right through your body. Thats how it felt.
I want to ask bigger things from God now because I think he just might be listening and answering.