The Hard Call of Christ

Maybe all this time I have been a spectator of Christianity. Fascinated by men and women who are sold out to him by American standards. The ones who talk about Jesus Christ so freely, those who radiate love for difficult people, those who are willing to make sacrifices to spread the Gospel. I think of my friends Sheila in Kolkata and Katie in Lima. I think of Umfundisi living in Cambodia where he'd step out of the shower only to be drenched in sweat again, of Pastor Ben hungry to read and teach the Word to young people, of George willing to give up the desire to go in order to help send, of Kim whose passion for God led her to give up her gym membership, of Dr. Bounds who had so much knowledge of who God is and shared so eloquently... these are just a few of the people in my life that I've looked to for years or just now days and seen that God does ask people to do hard things. And people are willing to do hard things for him. I don't know that I'm ready to take part and play the game. I sort of want to be a spectator and watch it all from a comfortable distance and allow my emotions to skyrocket and dive. I don't want to jump off and take the risk myself. I'm not ready. My heels are dug into the earth but something just keeps pulling me forward and I'm not sure I want to know what forward is.