Convicted is what I feel today. This morning dad and I talked of all the things that are wrong in the world and what can we do about it. I don't know what we can do about it. I know that change has to start with me. I know that this life on earth is nothing. It's just a breath. It is preparation for eternity... forever and ever and ever. Today is all that I am guarenteed to have. Am I serving God? Is it enough that I spend an hour with him and seek him? That I'm investing this time in my family? That I have a beautiful profession as a nurse where I can serve people? Is there more than that?
There are kids dying even as I write this b/c they don't have food in their bellies while I just increased my cholesterol and risk for heart disease by eating a cinnnamon roll this morning. There are people who have never heard of Jesus while I have 5 books about Jesus that I'm reading right now in my own language! There are women who are being beaten and raped in order to have a roof over my head while I have the option of 3 roofs to stay under.
It's an injustice. And I don't know what to do about it. I don't know what my place is. What my role is. Life is more than this time on Earth. What difference can I make?
The Bible says that "No mere man has ever seen, heard, or even imagined what wonderful things God has ready for those who love the Lord". I haven't even imagined? You mean none of the movies are even close to imagining the things he has for us in Heaven? What about Avatar? I mean that is pretty amazing!!!! We haven't even imagined it? This verse makes me think that it is all worth it. All the sacrifice, the hunger, the distance from loved ones, not eating out whenever I want, not living in a fancy house, not having a top of the line car, not getting to see every Wonder in the World. But all of this sacrificed so that people might know his name, his Grace, his forgiveness, his love....
I don't know what my next steps are. Maybe right now it's just read, write, pray, wait. I pray and hope that I have eyes to see, ears to hear and a mind that obeys.